I want to tell you two sad stories from my mosque. The first took place this past Friday. The frail and ailing Imam mounted al-Minbar (pulpit) to give the Friday sermon. I don't particularly like him, as he is exceedingly repetitive, never pays attention to the time or that his audience is 50% non-Arabic speakers and will have to wait for an English translation at the end of the sermon.

But last Friday, it was embarrassing for me to see him trying to preach in his condition, and I could bear to look in his direction. He got almost 2/3 of the way up the Minbar and sat down for the call to prayers. Then he started his sermon. The topic of his sermon was HAMAS' win in the Palestinian elections, a subject I could live with.

OK, this is his point of view and we live in America, and I respect his opinion blah, blah, blah, blah … etc. But that is not a topic for a Friday sermon. Thirty minutes later and as he carried us through a lot of clichés and twisted logical arguments, he arrived at the end. Did I tell you that his sermon was in Arabic? Well it was. Now, some one had to translate it for the rest of the congregation that does not speak Arabic. A young man was given the task just before the sermon started, so you know he did ad-lib. Well he did translate the essence of the sermon and was done with it in less than 5 minutes.

The other story took place a few months ago. The Imam was from the Indian sub-continent and he spoke English with a heavy accent. However, he was understood. The topic of his sermon was helpful hints for our daily lives. One topic was dealing with the temptation of al-Shitan (Satan).

According to the Imam, al-Shitan will try to make us sin. The example he gave was about al-Shitan entering our thoughts when you are in the bathroom. The first reaction of a Moslem will be to say things like "Allah damns you Satan." And our Imam warned, that this is exactly what al-Shitan wants us to do "invoke Allah's name in an inappropriate place." The Imam's advice to us was to curse al-Shitan without invoking Allah's name. He suggested saying things like "I piss in your mouth." That is when I almost lost it.